we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Randomize
