I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
