I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize