I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
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