Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
