Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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