You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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