Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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