yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
