Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
