Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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