More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
His nipple licking is glorious
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