All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
