Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
