he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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