This is not my ceiling
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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