At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
i think i just lost a toe
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
