I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
