I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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