Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
