Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
