Only a mothe r could love this liver
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
