He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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