just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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