im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
