fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
