I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
