Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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