i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize