And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
