my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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