Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
