I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
i out mim tonsoeep
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