My brain says no but my pants say off.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
