sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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