btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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