so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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