shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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