i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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