I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
