i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize