chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
i out mim tonsoeep
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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