i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
