soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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