Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
