A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You've changed since you got that strap on
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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