He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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