My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
