I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
