Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
