Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
