Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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