how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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