i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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