i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
