My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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