fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
