Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
