Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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