just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
