I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
