Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
