CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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