I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
