So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
