Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
