maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
