I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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