Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize