how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
