OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
