Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize