Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Randomize