Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
