I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize