You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
