i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
